What is Imago Therapy?
Imago is the Latin word for 'image'. Essentially, your ‘imago’ is a largely unconscious, composite picture of the people who influenced you most strongly at an early age. You could think of it as an image or a template of familiar experienced traits and relationships . . . how someone might love us. . . . along with both the positive and negative aspects of that love.
An Imago is derived from early caregivers such as parents, grandparents and also siblings. It may even be a babysitter, nanny or close relative. Whoever they were, everything about them was recorded both consciously and subconscious by a part of your brain. This includes everything from the sound of their voices, the amount of time they took to answer your cries, the colour of their skin when they got angry, the way they smiled when they were happy, the set of their shoulders, the way they moved their bodies, their characteristic moods, their talents and interests. It's important to realise that your brain didn’t interpret this data: it simply etched all of it onto a template.
What's also important about this image of familiar love is that as we grow up in our families, we learn very quickly how we need to act and be in order to get love and to feel safe. Essentially we develop what we call survival patterns. An example of this, might be someone who had a critical parent, they may have learnt to cope with the criticism by becoming a perfectionist.
Subconsciously it is our hope that we will meet someone who will both right the perceived ’wrongs’ of our past relationships, and also help us experience what we perceive as pleasurable. These are the powerful forces of attraction pulling us together, giving us the sense we were "made for each other" or that "it just feels right".
When we fall in love it can be an amazing experience. The world seems a wonderful place, we feel fully alive and connected with our partner and excited about the future. All too often these wonderful feelings disappear, and we end up in disappointment, frustration and conflict.
Imago helps couples make sense of their experience. It makes them aware of the subconscious agenda of romantic love, and to see that a relationship is an opportunity for growth. Imago provides tools which enable a couple to move from disconnection back into connection. Imago can provide relief for the struggling couple, as understanding grows and problems begin to be addressed through structured dialogue. The Imago Dialogue Process focuses on building trust for couples by teaching powerful communication skills to create safety in the relationship.
Imago therapy helps you and your partner create a sense of safety in your relationship, by lessening the painful interactions and increasing the pleasurable ones. It also involves learning the skills which turn your conflicts into opportunities for the healing. It also helps to reintegrate denied parts of the self that are projected onto partners.
Ultimately Imago helps couples find healing, stability and growth with their relationship.
An Imago is derived from early caregivers such as parents, grandparents and also siblings. It may even be a babysitter, nanny or close relative. Whoever they were, everything about them was recorded both consciously and subconscious by a part of your brain. This includes everything from the sound of their voices, the amount of time they took to answer your cries, the colour of their skin when they got angry, the way they smiled when they were happy, the set of their shoulders, the way they moved their bodies, their characteristic moods, their talents and interests. It's important to realise that your brain didn’t interpret this data: it simply etched all of it onto a template.
What's also important about this image of familiar love is that as we grow up in our families, we learn very quickly how we need to act and be in order to get love and to feel safe. Essentially we develop what we call survival patterns. An example of this, might be someone who had a critical parent, they may have learnt to cope with the criticism by becoming a perfectionist.
Subconsciously it is our hope that we will meet someone who will both right the perceived ’wrongs’ of our past relationships, and also help us experience what we perceive as pleasurable. These are the powerful forces of attraction pulling us together, giving us the sense we were "made for each other" or that "it just feels right".
When we fall in love it can be an amazing experience. The world seems a wonderful place, we feel fully alive and connected with our partner and excited about the future. All too often these wonderful feelings disappear, and we end up in disappointment, frustration and conflict.
Imago helps couples make sense of their experience. It makes them aware of the subconscious agenda of romantic love, and to see that a relationship is an opportunity for growth. Imago provides tools which enable a couple to move from disconnection back into connection. Imago can provide relief for the struggling couple, as understanding grows and problems begin to be addressed through structured dialogue. The Imago Dialogue Process focuses on building trust for couples by teaching powerful communication skills to create safety in the relationship.
Imago therapy helps you and your partner create a sense of safety in your relationship, by lessening the painful interactions and increasing the pleasurable ones. It also involves learning the skills which turn your conflicts into opportunities for the healing. It also helps to reintegrate denied parts of the self that are projected onto partners.
Ultimately Imago helps couples find healing, stability and growth with their relationship.